Tag: quasi recovery

Dealing with Weight Gain: Set Point Vs. Minimum “Healthy” Weight

What is your healthy weight?

I talk a lot about set point weight vs. minimum “healthy” weight (if you’re new here or have no idea wtf I’m talking about check out this post) but today I wanted to get into the difference between them. I will also touch on a few tips for dealing with the weight gain that comes with recovery and finding your set point.

Your lowest “healthy” weight is the minimum weight that is healthy for your body according to the bullshit BMI scale. A BMI of around 20 for example (but just a reminder, BMI is bullshit, I can’t say that enough).  Your set point weight is the weight that your body maintains happily without any interference.  It is the weight that your body likes to be when you are just living your life, eating freely and intuitively, and only exercising in the form of activities you love to do or not at all. It’s possible these weights are the exact same, everyone is unique, but it isn’t likely. When weight restoring for any recovery from a disordered relationship to your body or food your set point is the only weight that will keep you happy for life.

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Left: Quasi Recovery, Minimum “Healthy” Weight – surviving on calorie counting and over exercising                                        Right: Set Point, Thriving on intuitive eating and living in freedom from numbers and scales

When I was in quasi-recovery I was maintaining my minimum “healthy” weight through calorie counting and intense exercising.  Way too much space in my brain was taken up by numbers and scales. I thought that this was just the way my life would be forever because there was no way I could be happier if I gained weight.  At that point I had already gained a little bit of weight from my anorexic body and was not comfortable with the idea of gaining ANY more.

Then one day it clicked and I began my journey towards my set point, but gaining weight was hard. It was not rainbow and sunshine. Here are some tips from my personal experience:

  1. Buy flowy clothes – loose dresses, leggings, big t-shirts, track pants.  As you gain weight you will not only put on weight you will also retain water, experience swelling, and possibly overshoot.  Feeling your body change and expand in clothes can be very triggering. It’s best to avoid it altogether. No more jeans or bodycon dresses for awhile (and you’re welcome btw, no one likes wearing that shit anyway!)
  2. Avoid mirrors, avoid scales – any form of body checking is futile and can be a quick trigger into a relapse. I covered my full length mirror and only used a small mirror for makeup. Despite that, there were days when I caught a glance of my reflection and thought a big fat ugly monster was staring back at me, but that monster was just me. After I finally settled into my set point I realized how distorted my own view of myself was while I was gaining weight.
  3. Be consistent with a counselor. Nothing is as helpful as stable accountability and someone to be honest about reality with you as your brain tries to fuck with you about your body and weight.
  4. Tell your friends and family so that they know exactly what’s going on. Sometimes people are afraid to recover or gain weight on their own because they are worried what others will think. You should never compromise your health for the opinions of others, but if you tell your friends and family then they will be aware and you don’t have to feel any shame around them.

It took me about a year to find my set point.  Now that I’ve been at this weight for over two years I am never looking back.  I’m at a weight that I once thought would be impossible for me to ever love myself at.  But I love myself more at this weight than I have at any other point in my life. I can eat whatever the fuck I want, I only workout when I feel like it, and I can just be me and live my life. I don’t have to stress about my weight because I am right where my metabolism and body wants to be at.  That freedom is the difference between surviving to maintain your minimum “healthy” weight and thriving at your set point. It takes time and patience with yourself, but it is worth it.

Quasi-Recovery

Quasi-recovery is a point in recovery where weight has been restored, but your body and mind have not been fully healed.  It is a halfway point to real recovery.  While you may be at a “healthy” weight, you may not be at the right weight for your body.  You might be in quasi-recovery if you are still fixated on calories and are still restricting (even if your restricting to higher amounts like 2000-2500 a day), if you’re exercising for the purposes of maintaining your weight, if you have not given into extreme hunger or mental hunger, if you still have a fear of gaining weight, or if the ED voices have not stopped.

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Top picture – Summer 2014, Deeply in quasi recovery, exercising to maintain my weight, counting and restricting calories, still feeling trapped by food Bottom picture – Summer 2017 in full recovery for almost 2 years, little to no exercise, unlimited calories, free of all eating disorder behavior/thoughts

I was stuck in quasi-recovery for over a year.  I was convinced I was recovered because I had gained a few pounds, could eat more calories, and wasn’t starving myself anymore.  But the truth is I was just as sick as ever, still obsessed with numbers and worried about maintaining my weight. The obsessive thoughts hadn’t stopped and that was because I had not truly let myself recover.  The most dangerous thing about being in this state is that it is very very easy to relapse because you are on the edge of letting yourself truly recover, and falling back into old habits.  I relapsed several times during my quasi-recovery. When you’re here your body still hasn’t found its homeostasis that it can happily maintain because the truth is, when you’re in quasi recovery your metabolism hasn’t healed.  Even though you’re eating more, you’re still restricting your body from what it needs to find it’s set point which is why you will gain weight on lower numbers.  The only way to stop this is to truly recover.

To truly recover means to give into the mental hunger, to stop restricting any calories by eating at least 3500 a day, to stop working out, and to let your body gain more weight than you may be initially comfortable with.  As you know if you are familiar with me, my blog, or my youtube channel I recovered this way using the minniemaud method.  The information that this approach derived its methodology from was the Minnesota starvation experiment.  This experiment was the only in-depth study on calorie restriction’s effects and how re-feeding works.  Following the logic of minniemaud is what allowed me to finally decide to truly recover and it is through my own personal experience and the experience of many other girls I met through my journey that I can confidently say it is the only way you will ever truly free yourself because if you are stuck in quasi, you are not truly free.

Will you gain weight in real recovery? Yes.
Will you overshoot your set point? You might.
Will you experience extreme hunger? Definitely, although how intense and for how long depends on how intensely and for how long you were restricting yourself.
Will you finally be set free of the control numbers and food has over your life? Yes.
Will you claim your life, soul, and energy back? 100%
Will your body eventually naturally settle at its set point? Absolutely.

Quasi recovery is a dangerous place to be.  If you are there then it is time to take your life back and take the dive into a full and honest recovery now.  The longer you stay in quasi, the longer and harder a real recovery will be.