Binge eating, the uncontrollable impulse to eat mass quantities of food despite any feelings of hunger or fullness. Most people entrenched in diet culture can empathize with the terrible feeling that comes in the aftermath of a binge. Whether they are suffering from BED, bulimia, or are just experiencing the effects of fad/yo-yo dieting, a binge is one of the most common disordered relationships with food. Binge eating typically stems from an emotional attachment to food as a source of comfort followed shortly by feelings of guilt. Many people who have binge eating episodes engage in dangerous purging behaviors such as throwing up or laxative abuse to regain an “empty” feeling. These binge/purge cycles often seen in bulimic individuals are physically dangerous.
Personally, when recovering from anorexia I had several binge eating episodes. The only way I can describe my own experience is that it was like my brain turned off and all I could focus on was the food. I was in a blind effort to eat as much food as I could find and fit inside of me. After consuming thousands of calories in just 20 minutes I would then cry and feel terrible and guilty. While I was supposed to be eating a lot for my recovery, the binges were still not the normal relationship with food I actually needed.
Here is my quick guide for recovering immediately after a binge eating episode. This process is what eventually allowed me to begin overcoming binge eating:
- Do not be hard on yourself about the binge – One of the worst parts of any binge is the abrupt feelings of overwhelming guilt that bubble up. These feelings are what lead to the continuation of dangerous behaviors such as purging. The purging then eventually leads to more binging and the cycle is continuously perpetuated. After you have a binge, recognize your feelings of shame or disappointment as temporary. Remind yourself that what happened has happened and the best thing you can do for yourself is be kind and forgive yourself for the binge. Regularly practicing this internal dialog will help stop binges from happening again. Remind yourself over and over again that you have worth, that this misstep does not define you, that you are going to be completely fine. They key is to identify and replace the feelings of guilt with feelings of forgiveness.
- Distract yourself – After quickly having a loving reconciliation with yourself, quickly distract yourself before you can backtrack on the positive internal dialog. Put on a movie, go for a walk, paint your nails, take a shower, call a friend, do anything that takes your mind off of the binge that just happened. The more time you take to separate yourself from the episode, the better you will begin to feel. My go to way to distract myself was to brush my teeth and call a relative (almost always my dad) to catch up. If you decide to exercise to distract yourself remember to take it easy. Do not use exercise as a way to punish yourself. Keep it simple with a light walk or calming yoga.
- Do not restrict your food – This might be the most important tip here. After your binge, when you have hopefully successfully identified and replaced the negative emotions, forgiven yourself, and then distracted yourself for a while to keep your mind off of it, CONTINUE TO EAT NORMALLY FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. You may be less hungry naturally, but if you binge mid day you still need to eat dinner and if you binge at midnight you still need breakfast! Restricting your intake to compensate for the binge will only put you back in a cycle where another binge becomes possible.
Binge eating is complicated, the reasons behind a binge are multifaceted and unique to everyone. Often therapy can help with BED, bulimia, or just mending a very bad relationship with food. However, there are a few things to remember to do to help yourself outside of seeking professional treatment. Binges can be physiological and/or emotional. The best ways to prevent them is by protecting yourself from both.
The first step is practicing consistent self care. Treating yourself with love and respect will nurture a positive connection between yourself and your body which is an important step in repairing a damaged relationship with food. Keeping a daily journal to write down feelings of gratitude and affirmations is a good first step. It can often feel silly and awkward at first but eventually you will begin to notice the permanent changes it brings to your overall mindset. While recovering, I wrote all over every mirror of my room positive quotes and self esteem boosting mottos. Make sure you look upon yourself with love, and treat yourself to nice things whether it’s manicures, bike rides, or long colorful bubble baths. Remind yourself that your body is merely a vessel for the beautiful soul underneath.
The next step is stop dieting. Stop restricting. Diets don’t work, they encourage an abundance/scarcity mentality which upsets your brain and your metabolism. Practice eating intuitively. There are many resources available that teach this way of thinking. The way I achieved it was by eating my minimum 3500 calories to gain weight, reset my metabolism, and shift my perspective on restriction. Eventually, when the mentality of restriction began fading away the urge to binge left too.
Binge eating is not a solitary experience, many people go through it every day. You are not alone. With a determination to make a change and by practicing self love and no restrictions, binge eating is something you can recover from.
Resources used:
https://www.recoverywarriors.com/ten-tips-recover-binge-emotional-eating/
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/binge-eating-disorder
For me, recovery from my eating disorder took a long time and happened in several phases. Boiling the whole process down to a series of easy-to-follow steps just isn’t realistic because this disease is complicated and different for everyone who is affected by it. This is my recovery story and though it may not be exactly the “right” method, it is the one that set me free.
I saw therapists and went to doctors but the most impactful discovery for my recovery was online communities. It all started with my Tumblr recovery page. I discovered other girls who were recovering from anorexia and what that process looked like for them. I spent hours and hours reading posts from recovering girls and the articles they found interesting. The first step of course, was to increase my intake. It happened slowly over the course of a few months. I increased to 1200 a day then 1300 than 1500 and so on until I settled on 1700 a day for many months. I stopped all workouts that weren’t yoga. I made a list of all the food that scared me and I vowed to try and eat everything on the list at least once. I started photographing my meals and posting about my days on my tumblr. I was in this state, which I refer to as “quasi-recovery” for over a year. I went through several periods of relapse where I would return to my old ED behaviors before returning to quasi. I was still an unhealthy low weight, but I wasn’t losing anymore I was maintaining. At least I was eating I thought… sure, I was still cold all the time, afraid of certain foods, isolating myself, losing my hair, not menstruating, feeling depressed and suicidal, I sprained my ankle in my sleep because my bones were so weak, and sitting down still hurt because all my bones stuck out of my body… but for some reason I still felt like I was “recovered”. Just because I wasn’t eating only 500 calories a day and the fog in my head was dissipating I thought the battle was won. The problem was that numbers still ruled my life and I was not happy. I was not recovered.
The beginning of my salvation came upon the discovery of youreatopia.com and the Minnie Maud method of recovery. In summary, it is a system of recovering in which the 
In the end, I gained 40 pounds back. I experienced painful swelling, bloating, and stretch marks but I pushed forward anyway. I ended up at a weight that I could truly love myself at without hurting myself. The best part of recovery was feeling my personality return and grow into something more exciting than it had ever been before. I did stop gaining weight eventually despite not changing my eating habits. I was the same weight I had been before I became anorexic because set point is real. I haven’t obsessively counted calories in almost a year but I have to imagine I’m still eating near the minimums every day and my weight has stayed stable give or take a pound or two since the initial weight gain. I don’t usually weigh myself, I can just tell by my clothes. I felt truly recovered from the thoughts and the actions about 7 months into Minnie Maud. Today, I eat and eat and eat – not because I think I have to but because I live in an amazing city with delicious food. I eat because I work in an industry that feeds me decadent delicious free meals. I eat because it is an important way that I connect with the people I love. I eat because food is delicious. I eat because we need food to live. I eat because I remember what it’s like not to and I will never go back to that life again. I am recovered.
Have your dreams, hopes, fears, and attributes outside of the disorder been lost and forgotten? It can be all too easy to fool yourself into thinking that this new identity you’ve created is the “new you” and that you are no one else without it, but letting go of that falsehood is an important step out of the darkness.
So, how do you separate yourself from a mental illness that distorts you view of reality? How does “healthy Rachel” vanquish “sick Rachel?” The first step is to stop moving and eat. Eat so much that it doesn’t seem right. Continue eating and living until one day you wake up and the fog in your brain has lifted and you start seeing yourself for more than your body. That’s when you’ll start being able to really piece yourself together once again.
ladle-by-ladle.com 