Body Confidence Tips for Halloween

Halloween is just around the corner and you know what that means! …It’s the one time a year that it’s socially acceptable for adults to play dress up!

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Wearing Halloween costumes is honestly one of my favorite activities in the entire world! I love planning what I’m going to be and forcing my friends or boyfriend to join me in my theming. However – sometimes the idea of Halloween costumes can be intimidating or challenging. After all, there’s an unspoken rule that as young women, we’re supposed to dress slutty and revealing. But what if you don’t feel confident in your body enough to handle that type of outfit?mean girls im a mouse duh GIF

Well first it must be said that that “unspoken rule” is bullsh*t. Halloween is a time of year where you can be literally anything you want. If that’s a sexy witch then welcome to the club, but if it’s a very conservative far more realistic portrayal of a witch then Hell Yeah! If being in a scantily clad or even slightly revealing costume just isn’t your thing then for goodness sake, don’t make yourself do anything you aren’t comfortable with! You don’t owe anyone anything.

However, if the reason you’re avoiding a certain ~lewk~ has less to do with your personal aesthetic and more to do with your lack of body confidence then let’s talk… because that really breaks my heart, but I also totally get it. The year I gained back all of the weight from recovery I was simultaneously highly anticipating and quietly dreading Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday, dressing up is my favorite activity, and this was the first year I did not feel super great about dressing in my typical costumes.

Well spoiler alert: I ended up doing it and having one of the most fun Halloweens I’ve ever had. So how did I get past it? Well here are a few tips and tricks for you to rock whatever costume you’d like to this Halloween.

  1. Don’t be a b*tch to yourself – treat yourself like you would treat your own best friend. Instead of looking at yourself in your costume and noticing the things you hate and fixating on them, look at yourself as a whole, the way someone else would see you and realize that overall you are sexy as hell!

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  2. Don’t be a b*tch to others –  The minute you start to criticize others is the minute you become a part of the problem that is also plaguing you. If you can find the best in others and think that everyone is beautiful you’ll have a lot easier time believing it about yourself too. Don’t harbor any negative energy and it won’t have an easy time coming back around to you.

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  3. Remember that your size is just one very small part of who you are as a person it does not reflect who you are or what you are worth. In fact all it does is perhaps help you fill out a costume just that much better.

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  4. When your friends tell you you look awesome believe them.

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  5. Don’t compare yourself to others. Yes, we all look different and subjectively you may feel that others are better than you but the truth is we are all fierce in our own ways. Comparison is the thief of joy and what might make you insecure about yourself is probably the thing that makes other people envious of you! Just live your life for yourself and you’ll be a lot happier.

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  6. Don’t compare yourself to yourself. Your body changes over time and that’s normal and a good thing. If you’re bummed you don’t look the way you did when you were 15 or 18 or 25, you need to get over that. Our bodies change with age and you need to let go of what was and focus on how incredible you look NOW.

Okay those are all my tips for staying body positive this Halloween! Now go forth and be spooky ❤

Being Bigger Than Your Boyfriend

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Do you feel self-conscious about being with a partner that is smaller than you?

You’re not alone.

I think a lot of people feel this particular insecurity. One of the many many factors that went into me wanting to lose weight so long ago was feeling uncomfortable about weighing significantly more than my ex. That was very dumb because the weight loss and subsequent eating disorder put a way bigger strain on our relationship than my insecurity ever did.

There is this common heterosexual relationship myth that the female should be smaller than the male. But like, why? Seriously, why? I have always been attracted to people who are smaller than me in some way. I can’t help who I like. My mom is taller than my dad and they’ve been married for over 30 years.

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My mom and dad ~ 1984

The feeling that you need to be smaller than your partner is one of those things that’s been pounded into our head over and over from the media and our culture. It’s silly though because if we limited the people we were allowed to love by certain classifications like race, gender, or size than we would miss out on the opportunity to be with incredible people who may have the power to love, shape, and change us forever.

If you’re worried about what other people are thinking about the two of you than you’re not thinking about your relationship the right way. If you’re truly in love or on your way to being in love than who the fuck cares what others think? You only need to seek validation from yourself and your partner. But mostly yourself.

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Maybe you’re in a relationship with someone smaller and you are feeling a little uncomfortable or self-conscious in front of them. I get that. I have been guilty of covering my stomach, avoiding being on top, and other stupid shit like that. What I came to realize eventually is that my partner is not blind or dumb. They know what I look like and they chose to be with me NOT in spite of but likely because of it. It’s not that you’re someone’s fetish – because you are so much more than that.  Your body is unique and beautiful, and your partner chose to be with you because they love you and everything you got going on.  If you feel self conscious in front of them then to me that feels like you don’t fully trust them yet. You know what might help with that? Talking to them about it.

If you think you’re too heavy or gaining too much weight and that you’re partner won’t love you because of it – listen to me, it’s all in your head. If your partner didn’t want to be with you they wouldn’t. We’re all human we have free will. Any insecurity you feel comes from within. Take time to work on your self esteem and body positivity and realize that your partner is LUCKY to be able to touch your soft skin and beautiful body.

 

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*IF A PARTNER EVER MAKES YOU FEEL SELF CONSCIOUS IN A NEGATIVE WAY OR VERBALLY ABUSES YOU ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT, LOOKS, OR ANYTHING ELSE – GTFO GIRL. Life is too damn short for that bullshit and there are plenty of other people who aren’t asshats out there for you.